This Kiss
by CharlieSwagron
Summary: A "what if" one-shot of if Inara had kissed Mal before the shuttles are set to leave in episode 8 "Out of Gas".


**Disclaimer: *sigh* I wish I owned it, but I don't.**

**A/N: This is just a slight alteration to a couple of the events in "Out of Gas". To fit this story, a tiny bit of dialogue has been changed to redone to fit properly.**

"You never could operate this thing," Inara remarked as she pushed Mal out of the way. Adjusting a few switches and pressing a couple buttons, she saw the captain fidgeting in his spot, shifting his weight from foot to foot. He leaned forward to observe and check that Inara was putting everything on the right settings. When she turned around, his eyes locked with hers.

For a long moment, neither of them said or did anything, content to simply continue their staring contest. Various emotions passed through the distance between them: sorrow, want, despair, yearning. Inara inhaled deeply, her mouth opening as if ready to speak. Instead, however, she strode forward, cupped his cheeks with both hands, and brought his mouth down to meet hers.

She could feel the surprise and shock radiating through him, but just as quickly as it had surfaced, it was gone, replaced with an intense longing, an aching need. One of Mal's hands found purchase in her hair, gripping the dark locks at the base of her skull while the other moved to the small of her back, holding her firmly against his body.

His lips caressed hers none-too-gently, crushing her too him. She responded in kind, letting her mouth open to his begging tongue, sucking on his upper lip.

This kiss wasn't about declaring their love for one another nor was it ever intended to be tender. It was raw and rough and passionate; stripping them both of their identities so that they became one being. This kiss was about the months of sexual tension that had built and remained unresolved between them. It was about here and now and the fact that Mal could die and Zoë could die and really they all could die, but right now, Mal and Inara were showing each other what could've been.

They didn't know how long they stood there, locked in their heated embrace, their mouths dancing while their tongues wrestled. When air became an absolute necessity, they pulled back, leaving only an inch of space between their parted lips, gasping and panting into each other's mouths.

"Come with us," Inara pleaded.

"I can't leave Serenity," he told her, his eyes still closed as their foreheads rested against one another.

"You don't have to die alone," she said, trying in vain to persuade him to stay with her in her shuttle.

He sighed heavily. "Everybody dies alone." Leaning in, he captured her lips again. This kiss was slow, savoring; it was putting off the inevitable, wishing that time would just stop for them.

Knowing that he had to leave now or he never would, Mal abruptly broke the kiss and headed out of the shuttle, intent on making his way to the cockpit to talk to Wash.

Inara felt a lone tear run down her cheek and hurriedly brushed it away. The others didn't need to see her like this. She exited her home and went to round up Book and Kaylee; Jayne had already said that he needed to get a few things from his bunk and that he would meet them at the shuttle.

The shepherd and mechanic quickly entered the smaller ship while Inara stood at the railing, staring down into the cargo bay. Mal was glancing around the area, flicking his eyes everywhere at once until they settled upon her. She could see him swallow down a lump in his throat. He was trying so hard to keep his face blank, but it only served to channel his emotions through his eyes.

Hearing a throat clear beside her, Inara acknowledged Jayne as he boarded the shuttle. Her gaze once again found Mal's and a part of Inara balked at leaving. That part of her wanted to stay with him, miserable at the thought of letting him possibly die on Serenity all alone. But she knew he would force her to leave, even if he had to drag her kicking and screaming into her shuttle and lock her in there.

Reluctantly, Inara drifted away from the railing, walking away from the only man that had ever come close to holding her heart. The two of them held their gaze until Inara had to turn her head to the front so that she wouldn't run into anything. Even so, she could feel his stare on her until she disappeared from view.

_Please let Mal get through this alive,_ she prayed to whatever deity might have been listening at the time.

**/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/**

As soon as Inara's shuttle was securely docked in Serenity, she rushed out of the room and nearly ran to the infirmary. Once she'd regained consciousness, Zoë had ordered her shuttle to return to the ship so that they wouldn't be abandoning the captain. They made contact with Inara and told her their destination, one that she happily changed course for.

They weren't that far from Serenity when she'd received another transmission from Wash: they had already made it back and while the ship had been repaired, Mal was badly wounded. Inara had pushed her shuttle as fast as it could go in order to get back to the ship as quick as possible.

Now, she stumbled upon the infirmary, and her jaw dropped slightly at the sight. A countertop had been cleared for Zoë to lie upon while Mal rested on the actual table. Simon was organizing a few things in his messed up drawers and cabinets. Wash was sitting close to the captain, a tube running from his arm to a bag of blood hanging next to Mal. Another tube that spouted from the bag was attached to Mal's left arm.

He looked pale and ashen, his chest moving up and down at a slow, but steady rate. The piercing blue eyes that she had stared wistfully into not too long ago, were now closed peacefully.

Uncaring that Wash and Zoë were peering at her with intrigued, knowing expressions, Inara stepped forward into the room, standing by the captain's side. Her right hand automatically grabbed onto his while her left came up to brush aside the mussed up locks of hair off his forehead. She saw his lips twitch, briefly turning up in a tiny smile before his facial features relaxed again.

She barely noticed when Jayne, Kaylee, and Shepherd Book came up behind her; she still had their hands clasped and her fingertips were lightly running through Mal's hair.

Nearly a half hour later, the captain's eyes fluttered open as he lazily blinked, trying to clear the blurriness from his vision. He first noticed Inara right beside him, her worried expression molding into one of relief at his consciousness. He smiled wearily and said, "Well, isn't this a pretty sight to wake up to." His slurred speech made her grin and chuckle.

"Welcome back, sir," he heard Zoë say.

He rolled his head to the side and asked, "I go someplace?"

"Very nearly," Book commented, standing up from the chair he'd been sitting in.

"We thought we lost you," Inara told him, her eyes locked on his.

He looked back at her and made a noise of disagreement. "I been right here." He addressed Serenity's pilot next. "Wash, you okay?"

The other man smiled, amusement written all over his face. "Yeah, Mal, I'm fine."

"You got a thing in your arm," the captain mumbled, pointing at the tube lodged in Wash's vein. His arm felt like it weighed a ton so he swiftly dropped it back onto the table.

"Try not to speak," Simon instructed, injecting medicine into Mal's IV. "You're heavily medicated and you've lost a lot of blood."

He groaned. "I thought I ordered you all of the ship. I call you back?"

"No, Mal, you didn't," Wash replied.

Everyone looked to Zoë who smiled wryly at her captain. "I take full responsibility, Captain."

"The decision saved your life," Simon chimed in.

"Won't happen again, sir," his second-in-command added.

He gave her a small nod. "Good. And…thanks, I'm grateful." Jayne stated speaking then, creating some lame excuse as to why Inara's shuttle wasn't back first. When the Companion gave her exasperated retort to the larger man, Mal found himself entranced by her.

He would later claim that it was the medication talking when he said to Inara, "You got a lovely voice."

It was hard for the others to contain their smiles and laughter. There was no way that they were ever going to let their captain live this down. Kaylee stepped forward from behind Jayne and beamed giddily at him.

"Hey, Cap'n," she greeted.

"Hey," he said.

"You fixed the ship." The mechanic was grinning like a proud mother. "Good work."

"Thanks," he told her, a dopey smile on his face.

Hating to interrupt, but knowing that it was necessary, Simon announced to everyone, "Alright, I have to insist the captain needs to rest."

For once, Mal was in agreement with the younger man. "Yeah," he drawled, "I think the Doc might not be wrong about that one. Just gonna need a few." His eyelids shut briefly before he reopened them, alarm shooting through him.

"Y'all gonna be here when I wake up?" He glanced up at Inara. She could tell his question was mostly directed towards her. Shepherd Book, however, beat her to her response.

"We'll be here," he told Mal, giving his knee a friendly squeeze.

Inara nodded in agreement, putting his uneasiness to rest. "I'll be here, Mal," she whispered, the words reassuring to both him and her.

"That's good," he remarked. "C'mere, 'Nara." He lightly tugged on her arm until she bent down, her face close to his. His strength was quickly getting sapped from him, but he found just enough left in him to reach up and bring her lips gently down to his.

In the background, he vaguely registered the sound of Kaylee gasping and having a hard time containing her squeals of joy. Inara removed her mouth from his as his hand flopped onto the table. He was fast asleep within seconds, a soft smile adorning his face.

Book brought the chair he'd been sitting in over to Inara and she appreciatively thanked him. She sat down next to Mal while the others left the infirmary. Wash, Zoë, and Simon were still there, but she just ignored them, her focus entirely on the frustrating, maddening, annoying, rude, and irritating man who had somehow bypassed the walled fortress around her heart and had stolen it like the thief he really was.

She would be here when he woke up again. There was nowhere else she'd rather be.

**A/N: I'm considering "re-doing" a few more episodes to add in more Mal and Inara kind of like this, but I'm not sure. Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. I really wish the actual episode had gone like this, but alas, it didn't. Feel free to leave a review and let me know what you thought.**


End file.
